Let the Journey Begin!

This post is to share how our lives have been lead into a journey of adoption. A journey where God asked Reggie and I if we would step up for Him. If we would follow His path for our lives, no matter how scary, inconvenient, stressful or uncomfortable it may be. If we would trust Him over our own desires and dreams.

I guess you could say that this journey really began almost 2 years ago. We both felt that it was time to add even more joy to our lives with another child. This seemed simple enough, especially since I became pregnant with our son after only the first try. But, a few months turned into a few more months until almost a year passed and no pregnancy. So, in January we decided that I would see a infertility specialist. After a month of testing I was told that I didn't have any issues and that I was probably just stressed, which can lead to inability in become pregnant. The doctor did suggest that we have my husband tested, but because we conceived Rhett so easily there probably was no issue. A week later we sat in the doctor's office and were told that there was an issue and our chances of having another biological child would be very small. Going into that office visit we were asking ourselves how many kids we wanted and leaving we asked ourselves if we would have anymore.

Over the next few weeks we had some tough decisions to make on where we would go from there. Our doctor had suggested we move straight to the IVF route. To be honest I really didn't know that much about this procedure, except that I thought I would never need it. After lots of research, phone calls to other friends struggling with infertility and searching the Bible for answers we decided the only thing to do was pray.

During this time we felt the first tug on our hearts toward adoption. We did a little research, but honestly thought that if we chose to go through infertility treatment that would answer our prayers. Thinking back to that time I can see so clearly God's preparation of our hearts for adoption or as Reggie says, "Jess, hindsight is 20/20." One way God got our attention was through the launching of a new ministry at our church called H.O.M.E. I will never forget sitting in that church service when a sweet mom stood on stage and talked about her experience of bringing home her daughter from China and how the desire of the ministry was to help other families adopt. At the time I felt overwhelmed and truly did not want to hear about adoption because I was struggling with my desire to carry a child in my womb. It seemed as if everywhere we turned there was something about adoption on the radio, in a church sermon or someone who had experienced adoption.

After lots of praying we decided to follow through with a procedure called IUI, even though the doctor felt we really needed IVF. It worked! We became pregnant and were filled with joy. The pregnancy began just like my first, with lots of morning, noon and night sickness. The doctor always reassured me that it was a good sign. At my 14 week appointment I experienced a long 15 minutes of anxiety as I lay on the exam table while 2 nurses and a doctor tried to find a heartbeat. The heartbeat was finally found and I was told the low position of the baby made it difficult. I mention this experience because looking back I understand that God was preparing my heart for what was to come.

At a little over 19 weeks into the pregnancy Reggie and I were so excited to finally be finding out if would have another son or a daughter. As the ultrasound started I noticed the expression of the technician seemed worried. It only took less than 30 seconds for her to look straight at Reggie and say, "I'm sorry I can't find a heartbeat." I insisted that she needed to look harder, but in my heart I knew she had not made a mistake. A few days earlier our baby had died. "What is God doing?", is all I could ask.

As for what God was doing, we believe He gave us the gift of our baby's precious life for a wonderful purpose and we can't wait to meet he or she in heaven one day! The first thing He showed us was that He is in control even when science said we had no chance of becoming pregnant again. He taught us that constant prayer only brings you closer to Him in your time of greatest need. And, the outpouring of love and support from everyone demonstrated that His love is unending.

That brings us to today. We are excited that our journey of adoption has begun and we know that there is a child who is meant especially for us. We welcome your prayers and support. Our specific prayer requests would be for wisdom as we make important decisions throughout the process, for the birth mom as she goes through so many emotions of giving her child to another family, that the baby would be healthy, we will be able to raise enough funds to cover the cost of the adoption and the transition from one to two children would be smooth.

We feel blessed that He chose us for this journey. In the end what's most important is pleasing God and living a life that will bring Him glory. I want to hear Him say, "Well done, good and faithful servant."