Today, I realized that my heart desperately wants a baby and waiting for our adopted child has now become harder. Of course once you make the decision to adopt you immediately want to meet your sweet child, but the excitement of starting the journey keeps you occupied for awhile. Paperwork, adoption albums and the home study keep you quite busy in the beginning. But, with all that behind us it's just hurry up and wait time. This marks almost 4 months into our journey and you begin to slow down and wonder, "How long will our wait be?"
As much as my husband and I are awaiting the arrival of the baby someone else in our house also eagerly awaits. My 3 year old has had the baby on his heart a lot recently. Each night he prays for his brother and sister (he told us he's getting one of each!) and wants to know why everyone else has a brother or sister but not him. I never thought about a 3 year old having such a strong desire for a sibling. And, as a mother my heart wants to give him his desire more than anything. Then I remember that even more than I want provide for Rhett's desire is our Lord who not only knows our heart's desire, but the perfect timing to make it fulfilled.
My soul, wait silently for God alone,
For my expectation is from Him.
He only is my rock and my salvation;
He is my defense;
I shall not be moved.
In God is my salvation and my glory;
The rock of my strength, And my refuge, is in God.
Trust in Him at all times, you people;
Pour out your heart before Him;
God is a refuge for us. Selah
Psalms 62: 5-8
Prayer:
Thank you Lord that you allow me to come to you with all my emotions, even ones of anxiousness. Thank you for helping me remember that you know my deepest desires. And, help me also remember to keep you as my foremost desire. No matter the wait I want your will to be done so others can see you in the midst of our entire adoption journey.
Amen
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Heading to bed now, but just wanted to comment that I will be praying that Rhett gets his little brother AND sister Lord willing very soon!
ReplyDeleteDid you ever imagine that your heart had so many spots in which to ache... for your little guy, for your self, for the children not yet in your arms.... Thankfully, our Lord is right there with you. Praying for you!
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