Frugal Friday

Making a Will

I know this may not seem like a way to save money, but let me explain. Have you ever thought about what would happen if you were to pass away without a valid will? This topic usually becomes more important as children enter our families, but it is important whether you have children or not.

What happens if I die without a will?

When this happens, your belongings are distributed to your "heirs," as defined by your state’s law, and in shares pursuant to your state’s law. Basically, the state will decide who gets your property, without any regard as to your feelings toward family members, nor any special relationships you may have formed outside of your family. The law assumes, sometimes incorrectly, that you would have devised everything to your family. You have no control over the disposition of your property, so if you care about who owns your property, have a will prepared before you die. Also, if your will is invalid or if you don’t dispose of all of your property under your will, and you have no residuary clause, then the undisposed-of property will pass under dying without a valid will.

~ from Direct Law

Who would receive my property and assets if I die without a will?

Each state has it's own laws regarding this subject. Here's an example of what this may look like if you should die without a will.

• If there is a surviving spouse and no descendants, then your surviving spouse takes the entire estate.
• If there are descendants but no surviving spouse, then your descendants take the entire estate.
• If there are descendants and a surviving spouse, then they will share the estate (usually one-half to your spouse and the other one-half is divided among your descendants).
• If there is no surviving spouse or descendants, then your parents take the estate.
• If there are no parents, then your siblings and their descendants take the estate.
• If there are no siblings or their descendants, then your grandparents and their descendants take the estate.
• If there are no grandparents or their descendants, then your estate goes to the state
  

~from Estate Plan Center

Do I need a will to appoint guardianship for my children?

Yes. For us this was the reason we felt so strongly about creating a will. If you have little ones

this will be the determining factor in who has guardianship if you should pass away. A guardian is legally responsible for the child's physical care, health, education, and welfare until he or she reaches 18 years of age. This will include providing basic needs such as food, clothing, shelter, health care decisions and education choices. Remember that choosing a guardian who will raise your child with the same morals and beliefs you see as important is critical.

It has also been suggested that you appoint an alternate choice for guardianship in case your first choice is unwilling or unable to serve. Always check with who you choose first to make sure they understand what is involved and if they feel comfortable with the role. Something to also remember is that as times goes by you may need to change who you appoint. Relationships and commitments change over time and you should not feel bad for making the best choice for your children. When we made our decisions it was with lots of prayer.

Some questions to ask before choosing a guardian:

*Is the prospective guardian old enough? (They must be at least 18 years old)
*Does your choice have a genuine concern for your children's welfare?
*Is your choice physically able to handle the job?
*Does he or she have the time?
*Does he or she have children of an age close to that of your children?
*Does your candidate share your moral and religious beliefs?
*Would your children have to move?
*Will your choice be family or friends?
*Do you have the finances arranged?

How do I create a valid will?

There are several ways you can go about this process. But, because this is Frugal Friday I will try to help you save as much money as possible.

1) Lawyer - most lawyers charge by the hour and it can range anywhere from $275-$550. This option may be your first choice if you have the need for establishing a trust and own a large amount of properties, etc.

2) Software programs - There are several out there, but the one that I have used and would suggest is Quicken Will Maker ($37.99 or if you buy Turbo Tax this season you may get a free copy). These programs are so easy to use and it only takes 30-45 minutes to complete the process.

3) Online Services - Again there are several out there, but the one that I have personally looked into is LegalZoom.com ($69 - $119 depending on the package you purchase).

With all these methods you must sign the will and in most states it should be done in front of a notary public to make it a valid copy.

I hope this information can help those of you who may have
had some questions about making a will and got you thinking
about the importance of having one in place as soon as possible.

Learning Through Loss (Part 1)

My Need

Over the past 6 weeks I have been involved in a Bible study through Caleb Ministries. Six months after the loss of our baby I began to feel the overwhelming need to have my questions answered and find some type of closure. A dear friend suggested I contact the ministry a few days after our loss, but it wasn't until much later that I would see my need. About 6 months later the grieving process would hit me like a ton of bricks, which would lead me down this road of finding purpose and meaning behind our loss.

Hope for the Future

Each circumstance or loss you read about is part of God's purpose and plan for that individual. Throughout this circumstance I have clung to the verse where God explains His intention for those who are His children by saying,

"For I know the plans I have for you,

plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.

Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me,

and I will listen to you.

And you will seek Me and find me,

when you search for Me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13

My heart longs for the hope and future only God can promise!

Journey to Peace, Understanding and Closure

I embarked on a this process of bringing peace and closure (the closure I mention is not one of forgetting or suppression of my emotions. I will always have a deep desire to know and hold our baby. I still dream about what our little one would have looked like, what personality it would have had and what our home would be like today with two precious children) to a painful area of my life with very few expectations. The journey has not always easy and has required me to search for truth in a painful situation. But, what I did come to know is that each of us has times in our lives that are associated with pain. The most important thing is what we turn to for comfort during these times. Just after our loss we were shown so much love from our family and friends and it was one of the greatest examples of the Body of Christ (fellow believers in Jesus) we have ever experienced. I really believe because we had so much love during that time it allowed me to rest and not dwell on our circumstance. For us, we knew that turning to God would be the only way to bring true peace and understanding.

As I began this study I realized that nothing can change God's plan, there is nothing He doesn't know, nothing He doesn't understand and He is never surprised or confused. This truth comes from Job 42 :

"Then Job answered the Lord and said:

'I know that you can do all things,

and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted.

‘Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?’

Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand,

things too wonderful for me,

which I did not know.

‘Hear, and I will speak;

I will question you,

and you make it known to me."

Along with this God's plan is perfect and good. I learned this early in the study and I felt like so many of my questions had been answered through these passages.

My desire for understanding was and always is persistent. While we can only see small vignettes of what is happening in our own lives, God sees the big picture. His understanding is infinite, but His ways are not always comprehensible to us.

For My thoughts are not your thoughts,

Neither are your ways My ways declares the Lord.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

So are my ways higher than your ways,

And My thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

Lessons Learned

In the workbook portion of the study it asked: What good things have come about from your suffering? The first thing that immediately came to mind was a deeper empathy I have gained for others. I had always heard that you could not truly understand someone else's pain until you experienced it yourself. As much as I would love to have my precious baby here with me today, I cannot tell you how blessed I have been to talk with other people about their experiences and be able to understand the depth of their pain. As I stated in an earlier post, I started this blog because of our adoption journey, but because I felt God lead me to write about our loss I have heard from so many of you who have been down this path. God can even use a blog to fulfill His purpose! The second thing that came to my mind was the overwhelming desire I have to know God's will for my life. I realized that before this happened I was in the habit of trying to control my life and never stopped to ask God what His thoughts were. I laugh when I think back to my so called perfect plan: 1) Get married to a great guy (this part of the plan definitely happened!) 2) Build a nice home 3) Have my first baby by age 28 4) Have my second baby at age 30 5) Have my third baby at age 32. God allowed most of my plans to come true until we realized that infertility was part of our story and baby number 2 would not be as easy as we thought. I can't tell you how thankful I am for our infertility issue and even our experience of loss. This may sound weird or even harsh, but what is life if you are living it out of God's will and you never stop to ask what His plans are for your life? Because He loves me so deeply He has used this experience to draw me closer to Him and realize just what I was missing all along.

My Prayer

Lord, help me to always remember that your will for my life so much more than I could ever comprehend or dream up for myself. Help me never lose sight of bringing you glory in every circumstance and trial. May my pain be used for a bigger purpose and for others to find comfort in knowing that you are the "God of all comfort".

Amen

Blog Brings New Friends

Since I am still fairly new to blogging I must say I had no idea how many people could find your blog and then feel a connection to your life in some way. I have been blessed since the start of the blog with many comments and emails of encouragement. But, yesterday I had the fun opportunity to talk directly to a sweet new friend who had stumbled upon the blog when I posted the need to pray for Kristi Walker. In talking with her I found that she had been praying for our family and the baby that God would have us adopt. She called yesterday to ask if I could help design a custom invitation for her friend's upcoming baby shower and it was such a blessing to hear how much we have in common and that now we can lift each other up in prayer!

If I can pray for you in any way I would be blessed to have this opportunity. Please contact me and I will add your prayer to my daily prayer time with Lord.

Tea Party and Baby Shower

My sweet friend Jenny is having baby #4 which means two of
my girlfriends, Melanie and Celia, and I had the fun opportunity to host her shower at my home this afternoon.

When I think of Jenny I think of all things pretty, girly and just beautiful. So, what better shower theme to go with than a Tea Party. This was my first time throwing a tea party and I must say it was so much fun! We should all just find an excuse to have our best girlfriends over for a tea party more often.

Invitations

The design inspiration for for these invites came from a package of tea I had in our pantry. I saw it and thought wouldn't that be a fun way to announce a Tea Party and Baby Shower.


Inside the invite I inserted a tea bag with a custom tag that let the guests know the mom-to-be would really like to be showered with diapers for her little one.



Decor and Food

With this theme it's all about fresh flowers, finger foods and lots of tea.



Favors

The guests went home with cookies and of course tea to remember the occasion. I made custom tea bag tags with baby Husdon's initial and attached them to ready made tea bags. To make the tea experience even more fun the guests were able to make their own tea flavors at a loose tea bar.



The Mommy -to-be



This is Jenny and her little cutie, Sophie. Jenny and I became friends shortly after she adopted sweet Sophie and I have truly been blessed to have her in my life as we also walk through the adoption process. Jenny, it was a joy to be part of your special day!

Frugal Friday (Ways to Save Money!)

Okay, are you ready for some more ways to save some major money?

This week I wanted to share one of my favorite ways to save money because it involves the thrill of the hunt for a bargain.

Consignment Sales

Just yesterday I hit one of the biggest in our area and found almost everything I need for Rhett's spring and summer wardrobe. I am not into name brands, but I thought I would add them below to let you know that you can really get some high quality and high priced clothes for a fraction of the original cost.

For only $86.25 here's what I was able to get:

-7 collared dress shirts (most were either Polo or Gap)
-4 pair of shorts (Children's Place or Gap)
-5 t-shirts (Gap, Gymboree, Children's Place)
-2 pair of dress pants (Polo, Gap)
-4 pair of pajamas (Gap, Carter's)
-2 pair of shoes (Stride Rite)
- 1 pair of swimming trunks (Body Glove)
-1 swimming shirt (Body Glove)
-1 sun hat (Gap)


I also was able to pick up a brand new Body Glove life vest for the pool this summer for only $8.50 (they usually run about $25-$30) and 12 Thomas the Train brand trains for only $5 (anyone who knows about these trains knows they are about $18-$22 for each wooden train).

Here's the price comparison:

All the goods I got above for $86.25 vs. $96.00 at the Gap for:

-1 pair of shorts
-1 t-shirt
-1 pair of shoes
-1 collared shirt
-1 pair of pajamas


Tip for shopping consignment sales:

-Get there early!! This is serious business to us bargain shoppers and the early bird really does get the worm at these sales.

-If you have the opportunity to volunteer or consign your own goods, you can most likely shop earlier than the general public.

-Try to find sales that are well established and have a policy in place to make sure the items are in great condition.

-Get a map of the room layout before entering the sale. This way you are not overwhelmed by the vast amount of items and if you are shopping for something in particular you won't waste time in areas that don't interest you.

-Most sales don't allow strollers, so come prepared with a large bag (I use a pool bag or Ikea bag), laundry basket with a belt or strap attached for pulling, suitcase with wheels any anything else you can come up with to make shopping easier.

-Don't bring your purse. Just bring in your bag and check (or other form of payment).

-Make sure you know ahead of time what types of payment they accept. It really varies depending on the sale. And, it's not fun to wait in line for 30 minutes to find out they only accept cash when you didn't bring any!

-Find someone to watch the kiddos if possible! I was blessed yesterday when my friend watched Rhett so I could do some serious shopping.

-If you need to bring the kids be prepared. For really little ones, a baby carrier or backpack is great. For the not so little ones it will be really tough to keep them away from the toys, so try a portable DVD player with their favorite DVD.

-Make sure you know what size your child will be wearing in the next 3-6 months. Remember these sales are seasonal and you will be buying for the season ahead.

-Have Fun!! For some these sales are overwhelming, but if you try it and like it there are some opportunities to save some major money.

Happy Shopping!

Just Waiting and Praying

So many of you have been so sweet to encourage and pray for us during our journey of adoption, so I thought I would let you know where we are in the process. At this point we have completed the home study, secured the lawyer who will finalize the adoption, will be sending the adoption photo book off for printing soon (unfortunately I lost most of the work I had done due to a computer crash and it has taken much longer than expected) and applying for adoption grants and interest free loans to help with the overall cost. So, it is all waiting and of course praying at this point.

Since our adoption is domestic, we could get a phone call at anytime to let us know that there is a baby for us. It makes the ring of the phone an exciting event at our house. You just never know!

Would you join us in prayer?

~Pray for our baby's birth parents (especially the birth mother) as the decision to place your baby into adoption is a difficult and courageous choice.

~Prayer for our hearts to understand and be prepared that 1/3 of adoptions do fall through and that it would be God's will if this did happen.

~To say the right words to help our 3 year old understand the adoption process. The talks we have had with him so far have been so sweet and he doesn't quite understand why another mommy has to have our baby, but thinks it will be fun to go to the hospital to pick our baby up.

~Wisdom for my decision to breastfeed or not. This is something that I have recently started to contemplate and will soon do some further research on exactly how it all works for an adoptive mother.

~Pray for the grant, loan and future fund raising projects (I will be posting more about this soon) to help us meet our goal to pay for the remaining balance of the adoption cost (around $25,000).

~That our adoption photo book would give the birth parents a good idea of who we are as they decide on a family for their baby.

~The health of our baby in the womb and as it enters the world.

~Most importantly pray that God's will be done through the entire process!


I know God's timing will be perfect and I am so excited to meet him or her when ever that day may come.

A Weekend with Family

This weekend we had Reggie's brother and his wife come for a visit. Since they live about 6 hours away we don't get to see them as much as we would like, so when they come it is always a fun time to reconnect. My favorite part of it all is seeing Reggie and his brother laugh about their childhood together and talk about how they were as little boys. It also gives me a much better understanding of what little boys are like and that Rhett is totally normal in all his little boy actions. Even down to his tremendous appetite, which seems to run in the family!


Thanks Jim and Jessica (her name is Jessica too!) for spending the weekend with us.

Frugal Friday (Ways to Save Money!)

Anyone who knows me knows that I love a great deal and I am frugal. I said frugal not cheap! So, in the tight economic times we are living I thought sharing a few money saving ideas on Fridays would be fun. You just might get into this and become frugal too!

Ink cartridges

We all have printers and they seem to be constantly needing ink. I had a hard time swallowing the cost of cartridges at Target, Wal-Mart, etc. so I began using stores that refill ink cartridges. There are lots of places that do this now, but I would go with a store that you can simply bring in the empty cartridges and instantly walk out with newly filled cartridges.

Here's how much I saved just this week:

HP tri color cartridge regularly $24.99 and at Ink Stop I only paid $9.50

Movie Rentals

Everyone loves a great movie, but if you are like me the cost of going to the movie theatre takes some of the fun out of it. That's why I am a Red Box fan. It's exactly what it's name implies, a giant red box that rents movies. The best part is each movie is only $1 as long as you return it by 9 pm the following day. If you need to keep it a little longer it is still only $1 per day. It gets even better, if you would like to go online before heading to the nearest Red Box you can reserve your movie and have it waiting for you when you get there. To try it out go to redbox.com to sign up for a free rental coupon and it will be emailed to you.

Here's the savings: The average movie theatre ticket $9.50 and at Red Box you only pay $1. That's 9x's the movies for one movie out!

Now, go out and save some money!!!

Who do you look like at the zoo?

With the snow last week who would have thought that the

temperature would be 80 this weekend. The weather was so nice

we decided at the last minute to head to the zoo. It was a lot of

fun to see our 3 year old get excited about all the animals we talk

about but never get to see in person.

When we got there he thought it would be funny to tell me

and his daddy which animal we look like. My hubby was much

more fortunate than me, he was compared to a penguin.

I was ever so sweetly told,

"Mommy you look like those monkeys!"

Here's my little monkey!

Red Envelope Project

Have you heard of the Red Envelope Project yet? If not, I would love to share how it works.

The story begins with one person who has a heart burdened for the innocent babies whose lives are cut short by means of abortion. As he was praying, God gave him an interesting idea. Out in the garage was a box of red envelopes. Like the powerful image of the red LIFE tape, an empty red envelope will send a message to the President that there is moral outrage in this country over this issue. It will be quiet, but clear.

Here's what to do:

1) Get a red envelope (you can buy them at Kinkos, or at party supply stores).

2) On the front, address it to:
President Barack Obama

The White House1600 Pennsylvania Ave. N.W.

Washington , D.C. 20500

3) On the back, write the following message.
This envelope represents one child who died in abortion.

It is empty because that life was unable to offer anything to the world.

Responsibility begins with conception.

4) Put it in the mail on March 31st, and send it.

5) Then send this website to every one of your friends

who you think would send one too.

I wish we could send 50 million red envelopes, one for every child

who died before having a a chance to live.

Maybe it will change the heart of the president.

Wordless Wednesday: That's one Hairy Snowman! (our 3rd snow of the year)

Feather the Nest Baby Shower

I promised more details and photos from the baby shower I hosted this past Saturday for my sweet friend Melanie and here they are.

To greet guests as they arrived I wanted to create a wreath that would set the tone for what they would see inside.

Because Melanie is sentimental I knew she would enjoy having each guest write a message for the baby to be placed in his memory album.

We enjoyed a sit down brunch with lots of yummy items on the menu. Look at these adorable Greek bird nest cupcakes (Melanie is Greek so this was a special touch) that our friend Stephanie made. A big thank you to the girls that made all the food items for the shower. It was so delicious!

My goal for the table setting was simple elegance with a touch of glitz.

For the favors I thought it would be nice to have the guests take home something that they could enjoy later that afternoon (and even share with their hubby and kids if they wished) so I went with a cookie bar and blue berry lemonade sodas.

To challenge the guests I asked them each to bring a photo of themselves as a baby to be used in the Who's that Baby? game. To continue the bird nest theme I created a tree using branches to display each of the photos.

To write down their guesses I designed a card that held these cute little tree branch wooden pencils.

Here is the beautiful mommy-to-be herself! I feel blessed to have Melanie call me friend and hope she enjoyed her special day as much as I did putting it together.