Friday, October 29, 2010

Baby Blythe is 3 weeks old!(Adoption Update)

I have been meaning to post an update, but with lack of sleep and settling in it has taken me much longer than I hoped. And, to be honest I have probably been pushing back so much of the emotion that we experienced in our goodbyes. A sweet follower from Atlanta let me know tonight that she would love to hear an update, and I think it will actually be freeing to talk about how the goodbyes went and what we are feeling today.

In the last post we were preparing to say goodbye to the birthmother. As I stated before, we knew it would be heart wrenching and had really tried to prepare, but nothing could prepare us totally. It was one of the most emotional processes my husband and I have ever gone through. For us we had joy and the birthmother had sorrow. And, when you are part of something like this you feel like you can only have but so much joy because the other side of hurting so deeply.

We spent about 3 hours saying our goodbyes with the birthmother and her family on the morning that we checked out of the hospital. It is a time that I don't think I will ever forget. I dressed Blythe in her going home outfit and wheeled her next door to the birthmother's room so she could spend some alone time with her. Reggie and I loaded up the van and I tried not to talk because I was holding back the tears that I knew would spill over at any moment.

The adoption agency's social worker came to our door and let us know it was time for all of us to sign the parental rights paperwork. I had no idea how the birthmother would be emotionally during the process, but she wanted Reggie and I there for the entire process. After the paperwork was signed we spent a wonderful time together sharing Bible verses that had spoken to us during the entire adoption process and I got to speak heart to heart with the birthmother about the connection she and I will always have through Blythe. Reggie ended our time in the hospital room with the most beautiful prayer.

We wanted the birthmother to be wheeled out holding Blythe so we followed beside her as we all left. I didn't say much except to reassure her that her decision was for Blythe and that we were going to love her so much. As we waited for the final goodbye I wanted to flee. I couldn't believe we were part of something so big and special. My heart broke as I watched what seemed like millions of tears fall from the birthmother's eyes. I kept putting myself in her shoes and wondered if I could have had such maturity at her young age. And, because I was blessed to have already been a mother God used this experience to help me understand the true sacrifice that was taking place.

The hardest and most emotional moment was when she handed Blythe to me. That was her final goodbye and she watched as I placed her in the car seat. How do you drive away with the biggest blessing ever and know that the birthmother would get into her car empty armed? Reggie and I didn't talk for the first 15 minutes of our drive home. All we could think about was what just happened. The day we had prayed for was finally here and the somehow it was so much harder than we imagined.

We had a 2 1/2 hour drive home and had lots of time to talk to one another about how we were feeling. We looked forward to Rhett meeting his baby sister and capturing that reaction on video and just being home as a family.

Throughout the entire process we had such wonderful support. My girlfriends made the process truly special with their excitement and love they had for Blythe before even meeting her. My sweet friend Danielle kept Rhett for the time we were in the hospital and met us before t-ball practice so Rhett could meet Blythe for the first time. It was a sweet time. I had the video camera ready as he hopped in the van to catch his first peek. His face lit up and he wanted to know "Where is her price tag?" Don't you just love what kiddos think up! My other sweet friend Melanie was so excited to see Blythe she to drove to the t-ball practice and hopped in the van for a peek. So, because the wind blowing and it was so chilly there was me, Blythe, Rhett, Danielle and Melanie all huddled in the van to give Blythe her welcome home!

The next several days felt unreal. Was there really a baby in our house?! We still had a 7 day waiting period that the birthmother could change her mind so I tried to not become too attached in case we received that dreaded call. Reggie feel head over heels right away and never thought twice about that happening. The seven days came and went and we officially got word on Reggie's birthday that Blythe was our daughter forever. That's the biggest birthday anyone could ask for.

The last 3 weeks have been filled with updates to the birthmother to hopefully help her healing process and just getting to know Blythe. Rhett has been going through a transition, but each day I can tell he is learning more about how to be a big brother and we are learning how to balance 2 kiddos. I have put homeschooling on the back burner for the last few weeks and we have just been hanging out together and having fun.

Here is some of what we have been up to:


A few days after we arrived home my super talented friend Nicole Rogers came to our home to take the photos I had dreamed about for years. I will cherish these forever!


Of course, there have been lots of firsts but we had the best time at Blythe's first trip to the pumpkin patch when she was only 11 days old. Rhett and his Buddy Riley made sure to pick out a pumpkin for Blythe!

This past Saturday my girlfriends hosted a Sip and See shower in honor of Blythe. It was a special time as so many who had prayed for our adoption and the special child that God had chosen for our family were there to meet her for the first time. All the hugs and kisses she received wore her out as you can see.


We are enjoying getting to know her and can't wait to make many more special memories with her!


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Monday, October 4, 2010

Introducing Blythe Thatcher (Adoption Update)

On late Saturday night we finally had the dream of holding our precious daughter fulfilled. After 28 hours of labor and lots of hard work our brave birthmother was taken in for a c-section. Unfortunately the labor did not progress like the doctor had hoped and she felt the baby needed to be delivered quickly before she became too distressed. So, at 9:16 pm we welcomed Blythe Thatcher into the world. She weighed 7 lbs. 12 oz. and has a head full of hair. She is absolutely beautiful!Reggie was such a trooper during the 28 hour wait. He hung out in the waiting room and even made few buddies who were also waiting. It always amazes me how guys can bond over the subject fantasy football. It was one of my favorite moments when I saw Reggie holding her and feeding her first bottle only a few minutes after she was born. I can tell she already has his heart!


My experience was truly blessed. The birthmother allowed me in the labor room the entire time. It was more than I ever dreamed would be possible with an adoption and because of it I can tell Blythe every detail of the night she was born. Seeing her for the first time was overwhelming and surreal. The birthmother desired for me to be the first one to hold the baby to help solidify her decision for adoption. The feeling of finally holding her is really hard to put into words. I felt pure joy, but I also felt such sorrow knowing this young woman watched me as I began my role as mother and her's was ending. I have never been apart of something so special and sacrificial.

Since Saturday night we have been in the hospital room beside the birthmother. Reggie and I take care of Blythe at night and during the day we spend time with the birth family and also try to give them time alone with Blythe before the final goodbyes are said. Going into the adoption experience I didn't think I wanted to know the birth family, but God challenged me to open my heart to His plan. So, after lots of prayer and I trusted that God wouldn't give us something that we couldn't handle. The reward has been that we have developed a love for this family and enjoy being with them so much. I will have so many fond memories of the last several days to share with Blythe as she grows up.


Tomorrow is the day that Reggie and I have tried so desperately to prepare for. It is a day of beginnings and ending. A beginning of a new journey for us as a family of four and an ending for the birthmother of a journey that she handled with such grace. My heart is so heavy tonight as I try prepare for what tomorrow will bring. I am asking God for strength, compassion and for Him to direct my words as I try to leave the birthmother with peace in her decision in choosing us to parent her child. May it be a sweet time together that we can always treasure.


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Saturday, October 2, 2010

We are at the hospital!!!!!!!!!!!! (Adoption Update)

It has been a long night of excitement and we are so close to holding our precious baby girl. We got the call at 9:45 pm last night that our birthmother was headed to the hospital and we should start the 2 1/2 hour drive also. So, we threw the bags in the car, dropped off the dog and woke Rhett so our friends could meet us on the road and take him to their house.

I wondered if it would be as exciting as when I went into labor with Rhett and it definitely was and this time I actually get to enjoy every moment without the pain. Reggie is as calm as a cucumber and he managed to get some sleep the whole trip up. I love that he can sleep anywhere and at anytime, wish I could! We arrived at 12:30 this morning and waited in the waiting room for about an hour before we were told her contractions were 4 minutes apart, but they needed send her home until she progressed a little further. Since she lives about an hour from the hospital we all decided it would be best to stay at a hotel so she could rest. About 3 hours later we got the call that the contractions were 2 minutes apart and very severe, so we headed back to the hospital and she was in active labor!

It has been a sweet time with her and her family. I was able to eat breakfast with her mom and sister and we talked a lot about how they were feeling about the adoption. We laughed about all kind of things and shared a good cry when we talked about the instant love the birthmother will experience the moment the baby is born and the heart ache that will follow as she gives her child to our family as she moves on with her own life. How brave, how mature and how sacrificial. Just the thought of it has God's hand print all over it.

Well, she is at 8 cm and we are probably only a few hours away from meeting our daughter. That sounds so surreal and I am trying to allow myself soak in every moment and remember it so I can tell our daughter one day what a special day it was!


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